So, even though me and your mommy stopped talking months before your first birthday, I decided that I would finish my present which I put a lot of time, effort and thought into creating as a blog, with all the chapters included. I've tagged your name too, and the many many spellings and sir-names / potential sir-names you could have, so maybe one day you will be googling your own name (don't feel bad, we've all done it) and happen to stumble across this silly little story . . . . oh wait . . . maybe when you are old enough to use a computer 'google' won't be around; you'll have to wikipediia what google is in that case (unless wikipedia isn't around. Mind = blown).
I will be honest, I had been dreading this day, I've been glum and what people call 'emo' throughout (ask your mommy what 'emo' means) but I ended up being on the receiving end of a rather blunt exchange with someone who means a great deal to me, and she was right; although I doubt we will ever see each other, it is nothing to be miserable over, and instead I should be thankful to have had you to amuse me while me and your mommy were very close.
Now, you might ask, "how can a baby be a source of entertainment?" Well, allow me to elaborate with the following picture;
That's you as a buba, jus' having a merry time chillin' in your bear onesie (I did see if I could get a similar outfit myself, but alas, they don't do my size).
Here are some other hilarious moments of yours.
- your mommy was driving you to a day-care centre, and got a bit hungry on the way. As you were fast asleep, she jumped out of her car to buy herself a little cake. As she got back to the car, she saw that you were still away to the world, and so got back in the car really quietly, put her seatbelt on with a loud click - which you slept through - but the second the cake wrapper rustled you instantly woke up and happily screamed "CAKE!"
So she reluctantly had to give you a bit of cake to keep you happy.
- a similar incident. You were sat in your highchair, and your mommy popped out of the room for just a few moments, came back, and found that you were inexplicably covered in jam from head to toe with a big grin on your face.
But the ultimate has to be your favourite song . . .
I can still remember exactly when your mommy phoned me up in and did her seagull-witch laugh because you fell in love with the most inappropriate of songs, and would clap and giggle and kick your little legs merrily to. Miss Lyla-Mae, this was your favourite song as a wee buba;
I've just realised how rude I have been, I haven't even introduced myself. I'm Michael, and years and years ago me and your mommy (gah! I hate using the American spelling, but since both you and her are American I can justify tolerating it) used to be really close friends, but now we don't talk anymore and probably never will do again. Unfortunately, that means I will not get to hear of all the silly things you get up to. It saddens me to think that you won't remember me, but it brings a smile to my face when your mommy told me - just a few days before we fell out - that you could apparently recognise me and would point at pictures at me and giggle (in all honesty, I get that reaction a lot from females) and you would try to say my name, but pronounced it as 'Meeka'.
As I write this, in four months time you will have your own little brother or sister, which is exciting news for you. I don't know what name your mommy settled on, but the last I heard it was 'Riley' (boy) or Violet' (girl), with the middle name as 'Alabama ', so when you read this, will you please either (a) pass on my commiserations to your sibling about them being bestowed with a more embarrassing middle name than my own 'Duncan James', or (b) tell them that they should be eternally grateful their mommy changed her mind. I know you will be a good big sister, and I genuinely hope that your mommy and your daddy Joe got back together so you can all have a nice happy family.
Well Lyla, I hope you enjoy the story of Volbert the Mole, which I wrote just for you, and whilst you won't ever remember me, I'll never forget you.
Your Best Friend Forever,
Meeka
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